By: Lifestyle DeskNew Delhi | October 31, 2025 01:26 PM IST 3 min readNeena Gupta recounted an incident involving her daughter Masaba (Source: Instagram/Neena Gupta)As parents, we often focus on teaching children what’s right through instructions, telling them what to do, how to behave, and what values to follow. But, children don’t just listen, they observe. Recently, actor Neena Gupta reflected on this powerful truth, recalling a moment with her daughter Masaba that made her realise just how closely children mirror their parents’ behaviour.In an interview with ETimes, Neena shared, “One day, my daughter was shouting at me, I said, ‘Why are you shouting at me?’ She said, ‘You also shout so many times at this, at this, and this.’ So you have to be very careful, and that’s where they learn.” She added that simply instructing children rarely works: “By saying this to them, saying, son, do this, do that, nothing happens. They do what they want. But they see you. They see you, how you behave in public, how you behave at home, how you behave with the vegetable vendor, how you bargain with them, you know. They see and they learn.”So, how does a parent’s tone or emotional reaction influence how a child learns to express themselves during conflicts?Psychologist Rasshi Gurnani tells indianexpress.com, “A parent’s emotional reactions act as a template for how a child processes and expresses their own feelings. Children don’t just hear words, they internalise tone, body language and intensity. If a parent responds to stress with shouting, even occasionally, the child learns that volume equals authority or resolution.” On the other hand, she adds that if conflict is handled with calm firmness or clear boundaries without aggression, the child absorbs that as their default coping style. Mirror neurons in the brain are wired to imitate — so emotional regulation is more “caught” than “taught”.Effective ways parents can consciously model the behaviour they want their children to adoptBehaviour modelling is most effective when parents practise consistency rather than perfection. Instead of lecturing a child on patience, showing restraint when irritated, like pausing before reacting, communicates more. Narrating one’s own self-regulation also helps: ‘I’m angry right now, so I’m going to drink water before I answer.’ Apologising when they slip up builds accountability. Replacing commands with collaboration models, teamwork, rather than a power hierarchy. The goal is to let the child experience the value instead of just hearing it.How everyday interactions, even small ones, shape a child’s values, empathy, and social awareness over timeChildren absorb ethics through observation, not instruction. If they see kindness towards service staff, fair bargaining, or gratitude during everyday exchanges, they begin to associate respect with normal behaviour rather than performance. Watching how adults handle frustration with strangers versus family teaches them about integrity — whether one’s values are genuine or conditional. Story continues below this ad“Over time, these micro-moments accumulate into their worldview: empathy comes from witnessing empathy; entitlement from witnessing entitlement. Parents often underestimate the impact of the mundane, but it is the ordinary that builds character more than grand lessons ever can,” concludes Gurnani. For more lifestyle news, click here to join our WhatsApp Channel and also follow us on Instagram© IE Online Media Services Pvt Ltd