Every so often, I use the precious internet real estate I’m allotted here on VICE to tell you to go read something from a different website. This is one of those times. Go read Charlie Sosnick’s article in GQ about men who have made doing big cums their life’s work. It’s titled “Meet the Nutmaxxers Obsessed With Shooting Bigger Loads.” It will be at least one of the highlights of your day, depending on how adventurous a life you live.Sosnick dove into the thick of viscous pools of a subreddit called r/CumBiggerLoads, a place filled with jizz mad scientists who are constantly testing out new and exciting combinations of supplements that can hopefully get them firing the most oversized, most monstrous loads of cum possible. Why? Mostly just cuz. One guy interviewed says he felt the pressure to cum bigger and more after his girlfriend told him she liked being cum’ed upon, and had a voracious sexual appetite, meaning he had to up his loads just to keep up with her.That dubious justification is the most rock-solid provided by anyone interviewed for the piece. Other influencing factors include that the unreality established by porn has some men thinking that fire-hosing cum is a baseline sexual performance metric that, if they aren’t meeting, then they aren’t quite masculine enough. They’re all wrapped up in the aesthetics of sex and seemingly less concerned about whether or not a partner even wants to be slimed like presenters at the Nickelodeon Kids’ Choice Awards.Angel Pietro/Getty ImagesThousands of Nutmaxxers Are on a Quest for More Aesthetic SexThe article also mentions a lack of scientific consensus on what constitutes a normal amount of semen volume. Some guys assume they aren’t coming as much as they should, while others have partners who are reportedly disappointed in the amount of semen they’re producing, so they feel an urge to max their cum output.There’s a market for every microscopic niche of self-obsession. So, of course, there is a growing array of products and supplements available to men that promise to have them really turning out just oodles of cum. While clinical trials backed by actual real science say that there is no objective evidence to support the idea that anything could increase semen volume, plenty of r/CumBiggerLoads most devout cummers swear that supplements like zinc and selenium, along with a handful of others, are part of a well-balanced cum-rocketing diet.I haven’t even scratched the surface on the joys this article brought me, a person who thinks these deep dives into the absurdities of masculine subcultures are the peak of human achievement. I didn’t even get to tell you about the “tummy pancake,” which I won’t. I have to leave a little bit of mystery, though I’m sure you can figure it out and are already gagging—either from disgust or delight.The post Nutmaxxers: The Men on a Quest for More Aesthetic Sex appeared first on VICE.