Donald Trump shrugs and accepts eternal damnation, admits he’s ‘not maybe heaven-bound’

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One of my favorite Donald Trump subplots bubbling under all the other chaos is his frequent ponderings over the fate of his soul. Trump is fast approaching his 80th birthday, and it seems he’s becoming rapidly aware that the Grim Reaper is shadowing him and impatiently tapping his hourglass with a bony finger. So, once Trump’s body has breathed its last, what’s next for his immortal soul? Over the summer, this question has clearly been on his mind. In August he said, “I want to try and get to heaven if possible” and just last week told reporters: “I want to be good because you want to prove to God so you go to that next step, right? So that’s very important to me.” As pretty much everyone pointed out, Donald Trump commits mortal sins like most people breathe. Throughout his life, the guy has been the poster child for everything the Bible warns about, which makes it all the more bizarre that committed evangelicals are some of his most passionate supporters. Anyway, even Trump has now concluded it may be too late for him and no amount of good works will save his soul. In comments made on Air Force One to reporters yesterday, he seemed to accept that he’s going to be spending an eternity in hell: Trump: "I don't think there's anything that's gonna get me in heaven. I think I'm not maybe heaven bound. I may be in heaven right now as we fly on Air Force One. I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to make heaven." pic.twitter.com/LQaVlcn7zV— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) October 12, 2025 “I don’t think there’s anything that’s gonna get me in heaven. I think I’m not maybe heaven bound. I may be in heaven right now as we fly on Air Force One. I’m not sure I’m gonna be able to make heaven.” A hellbound Trump unleashed? Trump is not known for his honesty and straightforwardness but in this rare instance, he’s talking a lot of sense. But, while the prospect of Trump suffering millennia of unimaginable agony in the lake of fire may bring a smile to your face, it’s not good news for the rest of us. After all, a Donald Trump concerned about the fate of his immortal soul is a Donald Trump who feels pressure to do some good in the world if only for self-serving reasons. A Donald Trump who’s given up on that and is ready and waiting for hell could do anything. I mean, if he’s facing a miserable eternity after death, why not try his best to drag the rest of us to hell with him?