Pune | November 5, 2025 10:28 PM IST 4 min readTalking about her experiences of talking to a performative male, Arlyn talked about how when she first came to Pune, a guy she was talking to “insisted” he understood women better than she does.Written by Sanika DeshpandeFrom listening to queer-centric artists like Clairo to drinking matcha and reading Virginia Woolf, ‘Performative Males’, are the new hot topic of Gen Z. The term has gained popularity in the past year as social media users began highlighting men who adopt the aesthetics of emotional intelligence and self-care not for genuine interest, but for the sake of appearance and female attention. From curated Spotify playlists to staged moments in parks and cafes, these men craft an image designed to impress rather than reflect authenticity.The phenomenon of ‘performative masculinity’ has become so visible that it has even inspired playful contests and memes worldwide. One such contest was hosted at London’s SoHo square last month, and earlier at Delhi’s Safdarjung Market. The city of Pune, an education hub, attracts thousands of students each year from across the country. With young blood comes young love, and with young love, now, come performative men. Expensive private institutes foster a culture where social performance becomes part-and-parcel of the student experience, giving this phenomenon a boost.“I feel like it’s the male version of a ‘pick-me girl’ but more subtle and sinister,” said Arlyn Mendonca, a design student from Symbiosis. “You’ll see them reading a book in a park, or wearing wired earphones trying to act all mysterious, it’s not like those are bad things or men don’t actually do them, but women can tell when you’re doing it for attention and not being authentic.”When asked about what then makes these performative men appealing, Arlyn stated, “Women like spending time with other women. Girls enjoy their time with their girlfriends because they have things in common that they like doing together. Which is what these performative males ‘embrace’. They make girls fall for this fake narrative of them which later turns out to be completely untrue. Very problematic if you think about it”Talking about her experiences of talking to a performative male, Arlyn talked about how when she first came to Pune, a guy she was talking to “insisted” he understood women better than she does. Something she called the most obvious and frustrating sign of a performative man.Simone Khorshedi, a student from MIT-WPU said that she had come across a few of them. “More than I’d like to admit. There was this one guy I met at a friend’s place who spent the entire evening talking about ‘emotional maturity’ and how men should communicate better in life. But the moment someone disagreed with him, he completely shut down & got defensive. It was almost ironic, like, he wanted to sound mature rather than actually be mature,” she said.Story continues below this adShe explains how the deception unravels, “It was honestly surprising at first, because he seemed so put together. You start thinking, “Oh, this guy actually gets it,” & then slowly realise it’s just a performance. The deeper the conversation went, the more it felt rehearsed like he was trying to check boxes rather than just being himself.”Nisarga Barkule, another student at MIT, said, “If you have to make yourself seem a certain way to get someone’s attention, that’s pretty lame. I have seen a lot of guys going around behaving a certain way that they think puts them above everyone else. Trying to be someone likeable so hard that you actually lose yourself in the process and forget to enjoy what truly matters”Click here to join Express Pune WhatsApp channel and get a curated list of our stories© The Indian Express Pvt Ltd