Trinamool Congress MP Mahua Moitra recently revealed that she has a huge crush on Bollywood actor Pankaj Tripathi. Moitra said she loves the kind of “bad, mean roles” he plays and particularly enjoyed his performance in Mirzapur. Known for her fiery speeches in Parliament, this softer confession showed a more relatable side to her personality.“I was being interviewed by an anchor and she said she was going to interview Pankaj Tripathi next. And I said, ‘Oh god, are you? Would you give him a note?’” the politician said. The note read, “I’m a big fan. I would love to meet for coffee.” Unfortunately, Tripathi lives in Alibaug and “doesn’t meet anyone for coffee”.Moitra’s luck turned once again when she overheard Ravi Kishan speaking to Tripathi on a call and asked if she could speak to him too. Kishan fulfilled her wish and connected the two. When asked whether she told Tripathi about the note, Moitra admitted, “I was a bit shy. I said, ‘Hello, I’m a big fan,’ and there you go.”Taking a cue from Moitra’s candid confession, we reached out to Ms Mehezabin Dordi, clinical psychologist at Sir HN Reliance Foundation Hospital, Mumbai, to understand why people often feel shy when meeting their crush in real life. Ravi Kishan helped Moitra live her fan girl moment by connecting her on a call with Pankaj Tripathi’s peformance in it (Source: Express Photo Archive)Why do people feel shy, nervous, or tongue-tied when they meet a crush?“Simply because suddenly, it’s not just someone — it’s them,” says Dr Dordi. Psychologically, a crush triggers social-evaluative anxiety: the fear of being judged or rejected by someone whose opinion matters deeply. “People want to make a good impression, and that activates the sympathetic nervous system. Your heart races, your palms sweat, your mouth goes dry. Essentially, your body gears up as if preparing for danger — except the ‘danger’ here is saying something awkward.”Anxiety also “hijacks your working memory”, she adds — the part of the brain that helps you think on your feet. “So even though you’ve rehearsed what to say a hundred times, your mind suddenly goes blank.” It becomes a physiological tug-of-war between wanting to connect and wanting to protect yourself from embarrassment.Hormonal and emotional changes that occur when someone encounters their crushDr Dordi explains that seeing someone you’re attracted to triggers the release of dopamine — the feel-good neurotransmitter that fuels excitement, anticipation, and even obsession. “That’s why your focus narrows entirely onto them, and everything else fades into background noise.”Story continues below this adNorepinephrine (adrenaline) also rises, increasing heart rate and breathing, creating the familiar “butterflies” sensation. Cortisol, the body’s main stress hormone, adds a layer of anxiety.“The amygdala, which processes emotions, lights up and tags this person as significant — which is why you remember even tiny interactions vividly,” she says. As intimacy grows, oxytocin may increase, but in the crush phase it is mostly dopamine and adrenaline driving the response.Also Read | ‘Nobody wants to share my lunch’: Mahua Moitra reveals her daily Parliament mealTips to stay calm and confident when meeting your crushDr Dordi notes that nervousness and excitement feel almost identical physically. The key is to reinterpret the sensation: tell yourself, “I’m excited,” rather than “I’m anxious.” She suggests a few practical grounding techniques:Take slow, deep breaths: Slowing your breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system and calms the body.Story continues below this adPlan, but don’t script: Think of a few light conversation starters, but avoid rehearsing lines.Focus outward, not inward: Instead of worrying about how you appear, genuinely listen. Active listening naturally makes you seem confident.Embrace some awkwardness: Everyone stumbles over words occasionally. A simple, “Well, that didn’t come out how I meant it,” can make you seem relatable.Use gentle exposure: Repeated, low-stakes interactions reduce the pressure response over time, similar to techniques used in therapy for social anxiety.Story continues below this ad“Ultimately, feeling nervous around someone you like doesn’t mean you’re weak or awkward,” Dr Dordi concludes. “It means your brain is responding exactly as it’s wired to when someone matters deeply.”