It’s nearly August, and summer flings are in full effect. But as we approach the end of this lustful season, it’s important to explore our connections and understand whether they’re worth bringing into the cooler months. Doing so might seem intimidating, but with the right mindset, you can gauge your partner’s intentions and your romantic compatibility.Relationship and self‑help expert Tam Kaur shared the five essential questions to ask yourself about your summer flings. These should help you understand whether you’re caught up in the summer heat or truly falling in love with someone worth the investment. 1. Are they asking you personal questions?Have you ever been on a first date where you were pretty much the only person asking questions? And, to your horror, you found yourself sitting there with your empty drink, listening to your date drone on and on about their life while you can barely get a word in? Yeah, it’s exhausting.But when this occurs after you develop an actual connection with someone, whether surface-level or not, this can be a major red flag.“If they haven’t asked about your family, your work, or your aspirations, they’re probably not trying to get to know you; they’re trying to pass time with you,” Kaur explained. “Real connection lives in the details, and a person who’s genuinely interested will want to explore your mind, not just your weekend plans.”While it might seem fun and lighthearted to banter with your partner, you should be able to dive deeper, too.“If you feel like everything is just flirty small talk, it’s leaning into a situationship,” Kaur said.2. Are they lustful or romantic?While summer flings are known to be casual and typically more physical than emotional, they have the potential to turn into something more—but only if both parties are willing. If you feel your summer partner is only focused on your appearance, you likely won’t be turning your connection into a committed relationship any time soon.“If the only thing they compliment is superficial, that’s not romance, it’s objectification dressed up as interest,” Kaur pointed out. “Watch where their eyes go when you’re speaking and see if they are truly listening, or if their eyes are wandering or darting around the room.”This is also, of course, highly disrespectful behavior. A good partner would make you feel romantically pursued, not lusted after. There’s a major difference—and it all comes down to intentions.“Someone who’s interested will give your voice their full attention,” Kaur continued. “Romance is often shown through the way they hold space for your words.”3. Have they spoken about the future?Look, I get it: summer flings are supposed to be lighthearted. But if you’re someone who values commitment and is seeking an actual connection, don’t downplay your desires to fit into someone else’s life.“If they flinch every time something referencing the future comes up, that’s your answer,” Kaur said. “Someone who truly wants you will naturally include you in their plans, not just for Saturday night, but for what’s next.” Regardless of whether it’s a casual relationship, when intimacy is involved, you have every right to ask questions and make your intentions and needs known.“Remember that you don’t have to have a seasonal experience if that’s not of interest to you,” Kaur said. “You are not here to be loved on a time limit.”4. How is their communication when apart?Does your summer fling partner only text you late at night or to schedule hookups, or are they consistent with their communication? “If you’re constantly overthinking their messages, or lack thereof, that’s not connection, that’s causing you emotional anxiety,” Kaur said. “You shouldn’t be left wondering where you stand if they take hours or days to respond.”And before you make the excuse of, “But it’s just a summer fling!”, recognize that you set your own standards and deserve consistency. If you’re uncomfortable with the dynamic, make it known and—if necessary—walk away.“Being a bad communicator is a red flag generally, but more so if you’re confused about whether they’re just a summer fling or not,” Kaur pointed out. “You shouldn’t need to be a full-time detective just to feel secure in your connection with this person.”5. Do you feel emotionally safeEmotional safety is important in every type of relationship, but it’s even more crucial in an intimate/romantic one. “If you feel like you can’t be vulnerable, like your feelings are ‘too much’ or your needs are inconvenient, then you’re not in a safe space,” Kaur said. “Love, or the beginnings of it, is not supposed to make you smaller; it’s supposed to expand your heart.”You should never have to shrink to fit into someone else’s schedule or to meet their expectations. In the right relationship—whether it’s a summer fling or a lifelong partnership—you should feel safe enough to be yourself.“Emotional safety is the foundation of everything, and without it, you’ve got something with no depth, and likely to become a situationship or fling that doesn’t fulfill you,” Kaur said.The post 5 Questions to Ask Your Summer Fling Before the Season Ends appeared first on VICE.