Especially in long-term relationships, partners are bound to grow and change over time. However, some might grow together while some might grow apart. Here are four signs you’re growing—but your partner is not.1. You Suddenly Feel MisunderstoodFeeling misunderstood in a relationship can be a painful and isolating experience. However, oftentimes, it’s also a sign you’re not on the same page as your partner. According to Mark Travers, Ph.D., in his Psychology Today article, “As personal growth unfolds through therapy, reflection, or exposure to new ideas, many people begin to articulate their emotions with greater clarity and nuance. What was once casual conversation may evolve into something more layered: a moment to share an insight, set a boundary, or explore deeper emotional patterns. But when these efforts are met with confusion, indifference, or defensiveness, it can feel disorienting.”When your significant other isn’t doing the same internal work as you, they might not be able to meet you where you are—not because they don’t want to, but because they’re not yet equipped for the same type of reflection and self-awareness.2. Your Morals and Values No Longer AlignNo matter how different you and your partner might be, so long as you share the same morals and values, you typically can find ways to compromise and make it work. However, when those two priorities shift, it can become a dealbreaker.On Reddit, one person wrote of their own experience growing out of old beliefs, explaining how it impacted their relationship.“My political stances changed three times in my 20s, and I tried to stay with the person I was with when I was 19 all the way through age 26, but we didn’t make it,” they said. “We grew apart in two different directions. It wasn’t painful, but we had bought a house together, and everything seemed really serious because we had been together seven years. But then one day we both woke up. It’s best to handle it early.”3. You’re Doing All the Emotional LaborUnfortunately, the person who is actively healing and working on themselves is usually the one who handles all the emotional labor in the relationship. This naturally can lead to burnout and resentment, both of which can destroy even the best connections. One Redditor wrote about their own experience with this type of situation.“I’ve had to come to the unfortunate realization that while I’ve been changing rapidly since we got married, my husband hasn’t changed at all, and now the difference is too great to ignore,” they explained. “This has been a problem for our entire relationship, but the last few years have been so hard that we, like everyone else, were forced to either hunker down or grow. Now it’s painfully obvious that I have a trajectory while he has baggage.”4. You Approach Conflict DifferentlyConflict resolution can tell you a lot about the health of your relationship. When one person is learning and growing, they typically bring these lessons to the relationship in an attempt to better problem-solve and collaborate with their partner.However, if one partner is remaining stagnant, this might cause an imbalance. In his Psychology Today article, Travers noted that the evolving partner will often slow down, reflect on relational patterns, and take accountability for their own actions. On the other hand, however, the non-evolving partner will typically avoid confrontation, deflect, and even downplay or dismiss concerns. This can sometimes make the evolving partner feel like they’re the problem, when really, they’re actually the emotionally intelligent one in this dynamic. This perfectly describes one Redditor’s experience with their partner.“Whenever I bring up something vulnerable or emotional, he tends to respond by trying to move past the discomfort quickly,” they wrote. “I’ve told him clearly, multiple times, that what I really need in those moments is empathy, curiosity, or just a feeling of connection. But instead of softening or asking more, he doubles down explaining why he said what he said, why I shouldn’t feel the way I do, or how I’m misinterpreting him.”This is, yet again, a painfully lonely feeling in a relationship—as well as a clear sign of growing apart.The post Here Are 4 Signs You’ve Completely Outgrown Your Partner appeared first on VICE.