Kalki Koechlin was made to feel ugly after Dev D, had no work for 2 years: ‘I was called a Russian model, asked to do item numbers’

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Kalki Koechlin recalls getting hate comments after the release of her first film Dev.d.Kalki Koechlin, who continues to be remembered for her career-defining debut performance as Chanda in Dev.D, recently opened up in a candid conversation with Zoom about the aftermath of the film’s release. While Dev.D brought her critical acclaim, Kalki revealed that it also subjected her to intense scrutiny and online trolling, which took a toll on her self-esteem.“After Dev D, I felt so scrutinized for the way I looked, that I felt ugly,” she shared. “I would look in the mirror, and I knew I wasn’t ugly. Now when I look back, I’m like: I was in my prime, I looked so good. Why didn’t I enjoy it? But there were times when I’d be looking at myself and feeling so ugly, just from the fact that somebody, you know, said some comment about my teeth, or said something like, ‘How can you be an actor?’ All this kind of stuff that people just say on social media.”Speaking about her experience filming Dev.D, Kalki recalled the advice director Anurag Kashyap gave her before stepping into the role. “When I did Dev.D, I remember Anurag’s one advice was that I don’t watch any of the older Devdas films. He said, ‘I want you to not have any hangovers about how this character should be.’ And I hadn’t seen them, so that was lucky for him. I stayed that way and did the role of Chanda without watching anything. And I think, definitely, I’m glad I did that. If I had seen Madhuri or Suchitra, I would have thought, ‘What am I going to do? I’m never going to be like that.’ So I’m really glad, in a way, that I got that, and that he protected me from that sort of, I guess, legacy, or whatever it is that you feel like you have to match up to.”Despite the film’s critical success, Kalki revealed that Dev.D was not an overnight hit, and it didn’t immediately open doors for her in the industry. “But once the film came out, it wasn’t an overnight hit. It was a slow cult classic that kind of grew and grew. And, you know, the amazing music that Amit Trivedi,  it must’ve been his first or second film, he really went crazy. People really loved that music. And I think I got time to let that sink in.”Also Read | Kalki Koechlin recalls getting pregnant ‘out of wedlock’, says people made a ‘big deal’ out of it: ‘I was living with my partner, these things happen’She added, “I also didn’t get work for two years after Dev.D. I was doing my play The Skeleton Woman, which I co-wrote with my co-star, Prashant Prakash. So we were writing a play, putting it up, traveling around the country. I didn’t do a film for another two years. So it took a long time for me to kind of grow in the industry, to become famous. That didn’t happen overnight. People think that, oh, I got that break and that’s it, but it actually took a few films.”Reflecting further on the industry’s superficiality, Kalki described her early encounters with casting directors, and the comments that left a lasting impression. “I do remember somebody telling me to cut and dye my hair black and do an item number. There were comments about the way I looked, about my teeth. A little later, I had a producer also talking about, you know, Botox. They said, ‘Oh, just a little bit of filler for the laughter lines.’ And it’s all said very casually. Like, it’s not said as, ‘You have to do this or you won’t get the role.’ It’s just casual, you know? So then you can’t even play it uncool and be like, ‘How dare you say I should get Botox?’ Instead, you’re just like, ‘Okay… I’ll try not to laugh so much.’”Story continues below this adShe also recalled a particularly inappropriate remark from a journalist during her early days. “Also, somebody had written that I’m like a Russian model who’s come and done this film. I was very offended by it. Really? How did you not know that I was born in Auroville? Please do your research. Then I realized a lot of journalists don’t do their research.”In the same conversation, Kalki shared that despite her diverse filmography today, typecasting remains a persistent challenge in the industry. “People want to see you do the same thing over and over again. Now it’s, you know, like, ‘Home breaker’, ‘Affair Girl’— ever since Made in Heaven and Gully Boy. And I’m like, okay… but can I do anything else now? Even after Margarita, I was only offered disability roles. I’m like, guys, what’s… what? So I’ve kind of just understood that this is the ebb and flow of things, people only remember you for your latest. And then you have to rebuild each time.”Click here to follow Screen Digital on YouTube and stay updated with the latest from the world of cinema.© IE Online Media Services Pvt Ltd