4 min readMar 7, 2026 07:02 AM IST First published on: Mar 7, 2026 at 07:02 AM ISTBy Rajitha ChandrasekarHave you noticed the familiar vocabulary of Women’s Day? Women are described as the backbone of families, the pillar of the household, the quiet strength behind everything. Sometimes they are the glue, the engine, even the operating system. The words are generous, admiring and deployed across speeches, greetings, office emails and social media posts. It is praise, certainly. But it is also a particular kind of praise. Most of these words belong to structures. A backbone supports, a pillar bears weight. These are not objects designed for rest. They are meant to hold things indefinitely, preferably without bending, complaining or developing opinions. It’s strange how we talk about people as if they were structures.AdvertisementSomewhere along the way, the language around Women’s Day developed a preference for celebrating women for how much they can handle. Endurance is admired. Multitasking is applauded. The ability to manage everything at once is framed as a personal triumph rather than as a sign that responsibility might be unevenly distributed. What is praised, increasingly, is not what women do but how much they can absorb. Strength, in this context, becomes less a quality and more a requirement.Then there’s the word “empowered”. It suggests agency and choice. In practice, it appears after the burden is placed. The power arrives as recognition, not relief. It is rarely clear what she was empowered to refuse. Resilience is perhaps the most revealing word of all. Women are praised endlessly for surviving difficulty, adapting quickly and continuing without fuss. The admiration is genuine. The logic, however, is efficient to a fault. If someone is resilient, there is little need to change the conditions requiring it. Resilience, here, begins to do more than describe a quality. It quietly takes the place of change. Instead of asking why women face so much strain, attention shifts to how well they endure it. The structure remains intact, reassured that women are strong enough to manage.There is something instructional about this praise. Once strength is established, expectations adjust accordingly. The strong woman becomes the one who can handle more. Support tapers off. After all, if you are the backbone, bending is discouraged. Sitting down would cause concern. This dynamic appears everywhere: In families, where women hold everything together and in workplaces, where dependable women inherit additional responsibility. The admiration is sincere. The extra load is assumed.AdvertisementWhat makes this language effective is that it sounds positive. The praise is often so lavish that declining it feels awkward, almost embarrassing, like refusing applause while it is still happening. Objecting feels impolite. Discomfort remains unexpressed. What is noticeably absent from most Women’s Day language is ease. Women are rarely described as supported, protected or relieved. We do not celebrate women who are adequately rested or fairly compensated. We celebrate how much they can endure. It is a vocabulary that honours load-bearing rather than load-sharing.you may likeOriginally, Women’s Day was not about praising women’s personal qualities. It grew out of movements demanding change in work, law and public life. Over time, the focus shifted from fixing things to how well women managed. This shift has consequences. When attention turns to how well women manage, responsibility tends to follow. Strength becomes the measure, resilience the expectation. Questions about workload and fairness fade into the background.This is why the language matters. Calling women strong or resilient sounds respectful, and often is. But it also settles things too neatly. Compliments have a way of closing conversations. Once admiration is expressed, there seems little left to discuss. The words do their work and life continues much as before. On Women’s Day, the language will return, as it always does. Backbone. Pillar. Strength. It will be well meant and generously applied. It may even feel comforting. It is worth noticing, though, how often these words appear precisely where something else might have been required.The writer, who is an IRS officer, is official spokesperson, Central Board of Direct Taxes, New Delhi