Autumn is infamously known as “cuffing season,” a time when you lock down a partner so you have a +1 for the holidays, a cuddle buddy on cold nights, and someone to hibernate with when the winter blues get you down. However, rushing into a relationship or forcing a connection just so you don’t spend the season alone can be a recipe for disaster.Instead of “cuffing” this year, consider adopting a new dating trend: “leafing.” Here’s everything you should know about leafing. What Is Leafing?According to Jaimee Bell, sex expert and Editorial Director at Bloom Stories, “leafing” is a more mindful approach to dating than other dating trends we see today.“Taking inspiration from the trees’ annual shedding of their leaves, ‘leafing’ is all about slowing down, letting go, and allowing things to fall into place naturally,” Bell says. “It’s the antidote to toxic trends like ‘cuffing,’ which encourage us to rush in and lock down a partner, just to meet society’s expectations of us. Instead, it allows us to stay open and date in a way that respects others, while prioritizing our own needs and wellbeing by not rushing into the wrong thing.”Aleksei Morozov/Getty ImagesHow to Practice ‘Leafing’ This Fall1. Reflect on Your Dating GoalsRather than trying to rush into a relationship for the sake of not being alone, slow down and get clear on what you really want.“It may feel like everyone around you is coupling up, and it’s natural to want someone to cozy up to as the nights draw in,” Bell says. “But it’s important not to rush headfirst into dating without first understanding what it is you want and need.”“Are you looking for a long-term committed partnership? Or do you want someone you can spend time with casually?” she asks. “Take a step back and ask yourself what it is you need right now. Setting clear intentions can take the pressure off and help you to date more intentionally and openly.”2. Shed Your ExpectationsAs the trees shed their leaves, it’s time for you to shed your expectations of a “perfect” relationship, as it might actually block you from getting what you truly want/need.“Having rigid expectations when we enter the dating pool can stop us from finding the right people and relationships,” Bell says. “Instead, we wind up in partnerships that aren’t the right fit, based on a preconceived notion of what ‘good’ looks like. Shedding expectations can help us avoid this trap.”Instead of dating like it’s a job, treat it like an adventure—or, as Bell puts it, “an opportunity to explore.” “You never know who you might meet,” she says.3. Allow Things to Fall Into PlaceHaving trust in today’s dating world might feel impossible. However, forcing a connection to fit a certain timeline or fill a void won’t get you any closer to your desired fate.Bell paints the picture well: “You’ve met the person of your dreams, and things are going well. But now you’re worried things aren’t moving fast enough, or are letting others’ expectations get in your head.”It’s the classic case of self-sabotage—a common, fear-based habit.“Just as we can get stuck in our idea of the perfect relationship, many of us expect there to be a certain timeline along which things unfold, or allow others’ opinions to prevent us from trusting our gut,” she explains. “But forcing connections or rushing intimacy can ultimately put additional pressure on a relationship and make it less likely to last.”“Sit back, relax, trust yourself, and embrace where you’re at,” she continues. “The early stages of meeting and getting to know someone are often the most exciting.”The post Forget Cuffing Season: 3 Ways to Embrace Leafing Instead appeared first on VICE.