Riya*, a 14-year-old from Rohini, Delhi, had become irritable, withdrawn and excessively dependent on her phone. Her academic performance dipped and conversations at home were reduced to one-word replies. Attempts to restrict screen time only led to arguments and emotional shutdown. Then her parents changed their strategy. What did they do?The real challenge, however, was not technology, but communication. Instead of questioning her phone use, Riya’s parents shifted to an emotion-focussed approach. Her mother said, “I notice you seem stressed lately. I’m here to understand, not to judge.” This simple change helped Riya open up about her fears of peer rejection and feeling “not good enough” online. During further consultation, it emerged that constant social comparison on apps and the pressure to stay connected were triggering her anxiety.The family introduced short, gadget-free daily conversations, listened without interrupting or advising, and discussed how certain online content affected her emotions rather than banning apps outright. Positive efforts were acknowledged, not criticised. Within weeks, Riya’s sleep, mood and concentration improved. Most importantly, she felt emotionally supported.In the digital era, effective parenting is not about controlling screens but building trust. When children feel heard and understood, technology stops being a threat and communication becomes the strongest protective tool for mental well-being.The art of communication begins earlyA worried mother brought her nine-year-old girl to me as she was unable to hold conversations. The mother feared that her child was probably going through a delayed development milestone. Although she had no speech impairment and her vocabulary was found to be adequate as per age, she was limited in her social skills and her ability to communicate appropriately.The child did not have any significant medical or neurological problems, but had spent a significant time during her growth and developmental period on gadgets. She had become excessively irritable and engaged in verbal outbursts with her mother. So, her mother told her, “I want to understand you. Let’s take the help of a doctor so that I can understand better.”We made a diagnosis of social communication disorder and started low dose medication with the mother’s consent for stabilising her behaviour. Additionally, we put her on an intensive outpatient programme to address her social communication problems. In the next few weeks, her ability to communicate both at home and with others, her behavioral issues and her emotional regulation improved. As she engaged socially, she began reconnecting with her mother. She also started spending time engaging in healthier activities as an alternative to using gadgets.Story continues below this adAlso Read | Can newspapers help kids unplug from screens? A look inside Delhi’s schools1. How can parents keep track of their child’s emotions?Children and adolescents rarely express emotions directly; instead, they show them through changes in behavior, routine or tone. Sudden mood swings, irritability, social withdrawal, changes in sleep or appetite and loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed are early emotional indicators. Parents should focus on patterns, not isolated incidents.Instead of asking, “What’s wrong with you?”, say: “I’ve noticed you’ve been quieter than usual after school. How has your day been? Anything that you want to share, maybe I can help?” This invites emotional sharing without pressure or blame.2. How can discipline be built without sounding strict or controlling?Story continues below this adDiscipline works best when it is predictable, explained and respectful, rather than fear-based. Children are more likely to cooperate when they understand why a rule exists and feel included in decision-making. Clear boundaries combined with empathy help children develop self-discipline instead of rebellion.Instead of “No phone after 9 pm—because I said so,” say,“Using your phone late affects your sleep and mood. Let’s agree on a time that helps you feel rested and focused tomorrow.” This shifts discipline from punishment to partnership.3. How can parents identify emotional or behavioral oddities early?Emotional concerns often appear as subtle changes — declining academic performance, increased aggression, excessive screen use, emotional outbursts or avoidance of friends and family. These signs should not be dismissed as “just a phase” if they persist for weeks.Story continues below this adParents should also notice emotional overreactions to small issues, which may signal underlying stress, anxiety or low self-esteem. Instead of saying, “You’re overreacting,” say: “That seemed really upsetting for you. Help me understand what made it feel so big.” This validates emotions while opening space for dialogue.4. How can parents engage with their child like a friend without losing authority?Being “friend-like” does not mean removing boundaries; it means being emotionally approachable. Children talk more freely when parents show curiosity about their interests, avoid immediate judgment and share small parts of their own experiences. Creating short, daily moments of connection, say during meals, walks or travel, helps normalize communication.Instead of “You shouldn’t feel like this,” say: “I felt something similar at your age, and it was confusing. Want to tell me what’s going on for you?” This builds trust while maintaining parental guidance.Story continues below this adEffective parenting is less about control and more about connection. When parents observe emotions closely, set respectful boundaries, identify early warning signs and communicate with empathy, children feel emotionally safe.(Dr Astik Joshi is a Child, Adolescent & Forensic Psychiatrist. *Name changed to protect privacy)