The time I felt most judged as a parent happened just after my third child was born. As friends and family members conveyer-belted their way through my postpartum haze with onesies and trays of lasagna, they’d comment as I picked up my phone (usually to take photo evidence of their first newborn squeeze): “Ivy hasn’t made the cut?”My iPhone’s wallpaper was a photo of my two older kids taken years before. They were sweaty and giddy, sprawled in Brooklyn Bridge Park, and it was a time capsule from pre-pandemic days: before they transitioned from toddlers to actual children, before a mid-lockdown exodus to Philadelphia, before we left our closest friends for a city we’re still struggling to find footing in.My phone’s home screen was stuck in November 2019. The hit of nostalgia it gave me was enough to keep me from making a change.In fact, I didn’t change it until almost a year after Ivy was born. At bedtime one night, I got lost in my iPhone’s settings and stumbled upon a feature called Photo Shuffle. I selected the option, which immediately turned my iPhone’s background image into the sweetest photo of Ivy, now a curious baby who has a masterful bum-shuffle and refuses to crawl or walk. I didn’t understand where the photo was pulled from, so I explored the setting further: Who else’s Featured Photos should I include in this Photo Shuffle? I selected each of my kid’s faces, passed on my husband’s and cat’s (sorry), and clicked Done.