Allied Artists PicturesThere are movies that we lovingly declare to be among the worst of all time, ranging from the works of Edward D. Wood Jr. (Plan 9 from Outer Space) to the filmography of Uwe Boll (Alone in the Dark) to standalone efforts like Manos: The Hands of Fate and Troll 2. We watch these films in baffled amusement, pondering the misplaced ambition of the filmmakers behind them and celebrating the sheer depths of awfulness to which they descend. One such title that regularly shows up on those lists, as we commemorate the 60th anniversary of its release, is 1965’s Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster.Filmed in Puerto Rico and Florida by director Robert Gaffney, Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster could be mistaken for an Ed Wood movie if you didn’t know better. The first thing to understand about the film is that while there have been a lot of strange movies starring Frankenstein or his monster (including the Japanese kaiju curio Frankenstein Conquers the World), there is no one named Frankenstein in this movie, nor does Frankenstein’s monster ever appear. The story uses some tortured logic to get to that title, and the 77-minute slice of moldy Z-movie cheese is still a hoot to watch.The plot, such as it is, follows a team of scientists and military personnel as they launch a deep space mission manned by Frank (Robert Reilly), an android indistinguishable from a human being except for the fact that he occasionally freezes up like your old laptop. Frank’s space capsule, however, has the misfortune of being shot down by a Martian spacecraft that’s coming to Earth to kidnap women; it seems that Mars needs females to help restart their race after a nuclear conflict.Frank’s ship crash-lands in Puerto Rico, with the Martian vessel in pursuit. After he’s blasted by an alien weapon, Frank wanders the countryside, a half-burned amnesiac on an indiscriminate rampage (“A Frankenstein,” says Nancy Marshall as scientific assistant Karen Grant, thus giving the film its title). As the Martians round up local women for their leader, Princess Marcuzan (June 1959 Playboy centerfold Marilyn Hanold), to, uh, inspect, the Martians eventually set their pet mutated monster, named Mull, on a collision course with Frank, thus giving the movie the rest of its drive-in-ready title.Costing some $60,000 to make, it looks like perhaps half that made it to the screen. For one thing, Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster is more padded than an NFL linebacker: much of the brief run time is eaten up by long montages of cars driving, people traveling the streets of San Juan on mopeds, and Frank or the Martians stumbling through forests and swamps, as cut-rate psychedelic pop songs warble incongruously in the background. The rocket launch sequence, and much of the movie in general, consists of stock footage, while the inside of the Martian ship looks like it’s made of balsa wood.The nefarious Martian leaders. | Allied Artists PicturesFrank himself is a ghastly creation, in the sense that once the Martians fry him, he resembles someone’s rushed idea of a Two-Face costume. The Martians fare no better, with pasty white makeup and pointed ears that look like someone left them out in the sun. As for Mull, his rubber costume vaguely resembles the title beastie from the 1958 cheapie It! The Terror from Beyond Space. Of more interest is who’s inside that thing: Bruce Glover, best known as deadly James Bond antagonist Mr. Wint in 1971’s Diamonds are Forever, and father of Crispin Glover.There’s actually a smattering of recognizable actors in Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster. Lead scientist Adam Steele is played by the late James Karen, a longtime character actor whose vast list of credits included Poltergeist, The China Syndrome, Wall Street, The Return of the Living Dead, and Mulholland Drive, among many other movies and TV shows. Meanwhile, the movie is nearly stolen by Lou Cutell as the evil, grinning Dr. Nadir, Princess Marcuzan’s sadistic henchman. Cutell’s lengthy career included roles in films like Pee-wee’s Big Adventure and Honey, I Shrunk the Kids, with Seinfeld, The Practice, Mad About You, and Curb Your Enthusiasm among his many TV credits.Aside from Cutell, who enthusiastically understands the assignment, no one else really distinguishes themselves. That’s hardly surprising with such a patchwork production and skinny excuse for a plot, which somehow took three writers to cobble together. As for Gaffney, who passed in 2009, his list of credits is short (mainly as a cinematographer), and Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster is his only feature directorial effort. Initially conceived as a parody of sci-fi movies before the producers rejected that approach, Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster inadvertently became one anyway, and is now immortalized as the oddest movie to ever bear the name of Mary Shelley’s creation.