Sabar Bonda, directed by Rohan Kanawade, tells the story of Anand (Bhushan Manoj) and his childhood friend Balya (Suraaj Suman). One could say it is a story about homosexuality, but the truth is that it is so much more than that.AdvertisementYes, it won the World Cinema Grand Jury Prize at the Sundance Film Festival in the US, but right until the release, I had no idea of the plot or even the actors, and so I went like an empty slate. This is something that has happened to me in the past with gems such as Ship of Theseus and Bramayugam.If I’m not able to describe my experience of Sabar Bonda, it is because an experience stems from a judgement, a learning or a validation. With Sabar Bonda, however, it was almost like being on a railway platform and watching something happening in front of you. There is no agenda or haste — just life unfolding before you.Watching the life of Anand on screen felt like getting hold of his album and sifting through it while listening to his conversations in the background. He experiences loss, grief and uncertainty, but begins his journey to healing. He is gay, and comfortable in his identity. He is independent, self-reliant and has also come out to his parents, who have not only been supportive but have also struggled in any evident way to come around to his sexual orientation.AdvertisementThis is where Sabar Bonda wins you over. It doesn’t harp on the tropes. At no point do you feel compelled to empathise with the characters or even get to know their perspectives. Anand is presented as just another human with an ordinary life. We do not categorise or even try to see the movie in terms of protagonists and antagonists. There is no big statement to society or even an attempt to self-assess and check our biases. It is simply Anand’s journey; the fact that he is a homosexual is incidental.I sat there not being swept away at any point. Slowly, the story progresses, but without the structure of a screenplay, with Acts I, II and III. At one point, when the two friends were lying in an embrace, I was almost prepared for someone to walk in on them and catch them red-handed. And from there would be the start of the catharsis. But the director deftly avoided all cliches. The task of predicting the plot is dispensed with in the first half an hour — it is liberating to watch a movie with this ease.Another point in the film’s favour was the absence of a soundtrack. There were natural sounds that were used — they made the film immersive. I did not feel like I was being manipulated to experience a specific emotion. I have been reliving Sabar Bonda’s scenes in my head since I watched it, and each time it makes me think from a different angle. Maybe because I only think of the characters through my own understanding without the catalyst of music.Also Read | The visual poetics of Sabar Bonda, caught between stillness and scrutiny, distance and closenessSabar Bonda felt very personal to me. I have been active in LGBTQ rights since my early twenties. And I rejoiced when Article 377 was removed with the hope that same-sex marriages would also be legally recognised by our constitution. I have watched friends struggle on multiple fronts, like coming out to parents, heartbreaks, social stigma, the reaction of relatives etc. All of this has been talked about in the movie with a sensitivity that is rare in Indian movies. The impact is made through regular conversations between characters. An example that comes to mind is where a cousin asks Anand about his girlfriend, his breakup, her marriage and how she tried to stay in touch even after she was married. And he replies to everything with honesty, in a way that shows the universality of how love and relationships play out, even when those involved are gay.This feels so true. I once heard someone on a podcast talk about how a person is not a homosexual only because they sleep with people of the same sex. It comes from an emotional connection. An emotional anchor, physical intimacy, your safe space, use and abuse in flings, the need for touch and comfort — these things are agnostic to sexual orientation. When one can be oneself and expose one’s soul to another, whoever it may be, that is true love.Go watch Sabar Bonda for good cinema. Go watch it for the beauty of silences and beautiful frames, for the human experiences. Go watch it to know that parallel lives are lived by urban and rural people alike. It will make you think. It will stay with you.The writer is an actor and corporate trainer