Actor Nakuul Mehta recently shared a thought that resonated with many young parents. Reflecting on fatherhood, he said, “Bache ko duniya me laane se aap maa baap nahi bante. That is biologically, you have got somebody here. Maa baap banna ek bahut badi responsibility hoti hai. Hum bachon ko kuch sikha nahi sakte, woh apni destiny le kar aate hain. Bache seekhte hai ki jis kisam ke log hum hein. Suddenly 4.5 saal se humare conversation yahi hai ki hum kaise behtar insaan banein.”His words on Ranveer Allahbadia’s podcast shift the focus of parenting from authority to accountability — from raising a child to raising oneself. To understand what truly defines good parenting today, we spoke to Dr Rahul Chandhok, Sr. Consultant & Head Psychiatry, Artemis Lite NFC, New Delhi, who explains, “Today, good parenting is less about authority and more about emotional availability. Children need psychological safety at home — a space where they can express themselves without fear of ridicule or rejection.”In a world dominated by screens, distractions and constant comparison, stability becomes crucial. “Consistency in values and boundaries is extremely important. Rules should not fluctuate based on a parent’s mood. Children thrive when expectations are clear and predictable,” says Dr Chandhok.He emphasises that parenting is not about perfection but presence. “Being a good parent is not about producing a high-achieving child. It is about raising someone who is resilient, empathetic and responsible. Emotional connection will always matter more than performance metrics.” View this post on Instagram A post shared by theindianparentpod (@theindianparentpod) How powerful is parental modelling in shaping a child’s personality?Echoing Nakul Mehta’s belief that children learn from who we are, not what we say, Dr Chandhok highlights the science of observational learning. “Children are silent observers. They internalise how parents handle stress, disagreement, success and failure. Behavioural modelling is one of the strongest influences on personality development.”He explains that everyday actions leave lasting imprints. “If a parent responds to frustration with calm problem-solving, the child absorbs that coping mechanism. If anger, dishonesty or impulsivity are frequent, those patterns are also learned. Modelling happens subtly but powerfully.”Dr Chandhok adds that confidence and emotional regulation are often reflections of the home environment. “A child’s long-term coping style is frequently shaped by what they witness daily. Words instruct, but behaviour imprints.”ALSO READ | Yuvraj Singh opens up about early childhood, father Yograj’s strict parenting: ‘He was always a coach’Does becoming a “better human” automatically mean becoming a better parent?Nakul Mehta’s admission that his conversations over the last 4.5 years revolved around becoming a better person points toward self-growth. But does personal growth automatically translate into better parenting?Story continues below this adDr Chandhok believes it is a strong foundation — but not the complete picture. “When parents work on emotional maturity, patience and self-awareness, parenting outcomes improve significantly. A regulated adult raises a regulated child.”However, he cautions against assuming self-improvement alone is enough. “Intentional parenting requires understanding developmental stages. A toddler’s needs are different from an adolescent’s. Self-growth must be combined with awareness of what is age-appropriate.”He adds: “Self-improvement is the starting point. Conscious, informed parenting is what sustains healthy development.”Mehta’s idea that children arrive with their own destiny can feel comforting — but does it risk diluting parental responsibility?Dr Chandhok offers a balanced perspective. “Believing a child has innate strengths and individuality can be empowering. It allows parents to respect temperament and unique abilities instead of forcing comparison.”Story continues below this adBut he firmly adds, “Destiny does not eliminate environmental impact. Emotional support, guidance and structure shape how a child navigates their potential.”In his view, parenting is about readiness, not control. “You may not control the path entirely, but you significantly influence how prepared your child is to walk it. A nurturing environment enhances resilience and adaptability.”